Thursday, February 17, 2011

Breaking up (with a friend) is hard to do

I am a friendly person (most times, lol!). I have many people in my life that I would consider friends and who, in return, consider me a friend.  The length of time I've known these people range from 26 years to 6 months.  Don't get me wrong, I've had some early lessons about friendship so I do not easily call someone a friend. When you are my friend, you are my friend for life... unless something extra-ordinary happens (I'm no fool! I hope).

I love all of my friends. I truly do.  But what happens when the relationship becomes unhealthy for you?  When you are stressed over your friends' worries yet they continue actions that are detrimental to themselves and, by proxy, you?

It is commonly advised, in domestic violence programs, that any person in an unhealthy relationship should make a plan to remove themselves and put it to action immediately.  But what if your unhealthy relationship is non-violent? What if your unhealthy relationship is not with an intimate lover but with a friend?

How do you break up with your friend?

We all go through issues and growing pangs in life where we need to lean on others for support.  A friend, in my opinion, should support you, care about your well-being, respect you, have similar interests, and be non-judgmental.  And vise versa. (Am I being too optimistic about this friend thing?)  Simple things like apologizing when they are wrong or have hurt your feelings, not intentionally trying to hurt you (physically or emotionally), or attending the celebrations for your accomplishments in life should be second-nature.

When you've given all you can give with minimal in return, its clear in all areas of life that its time for you to make the best decision for yourself and end it.  Be prepared: It'll feel like breaking up with your first boyfriend/girlfriend!

In order to prepare, you will need the following:
1. A new phone number (a new address would work wonders but the new number would suffice)
2. A job where outside communication is minimal to nonexistent (CIA, FBI, etc.)
3. A rotation in the world of friends so more time is spent with other friends that weren't recently been getting the appropriate attention because they did not get along with friend-in-question
4. A well written Dear John type of letter for the friend when s/he catches you leaving your mom's house and questions you about the recent distance.
5. And a bottle of Tequila (shots will be required!)


I truly do NOT know how to break up with a friend.  That's why I'm still on call for when the shit hits her fan and throws MY life through a loop!

That's what friends are for, right?


  1. so funny. I blogged about something similar not too long ago.

  2. LOVE this. It's so true, we ALL need an escape plan for friendships when they go south! Thanks for sharing. I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!