Saturday, February 26, 2011

Ode (sorta) to My Baby

Yesterday, my baby sister had not one but two seizures. She's not a baby. Hardly. She's almost 30. But she'll always be my baby sister.

The second of the two seizures was worse than any of the others that she's had over the past ten years.  She got injured this time.  Four stitches at her right temple.  Fractured cheek bone. Fractured nose bone. Sprained wrist. Sprained ankle. Bumps and bruises. And a massive headache.

But she's still here and I am so grateful.

So, this, is for you babygirl!

When I look at you, I still see that three year old baby face
who was "hugging [her] daddy" all night when the bathroom dream held you in place
I see the babygirl that I have to protect because "he" left us all
I am older and have to kiss your boo-boos after every fall
I know that you are a woman now, a strong beautiful lady
I want the best for you, I want you to soar because you are still my baby
Everyone can see me beam as proud mamas do
You'll always be my baby and I will always love you

I think the relationship between sisters is undeniably precious.

Share your sister story here and let the world know how you feel about your sister.


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Art of Letting Go

I've often said that people (myself included) do not like to do "the hard work." The hardest, most difficult job is working on yourself. I will attest to that.  I have, honestly, been trying to let go.


I've been working on myself for many years now.


Part of working on me is making sure I'm doing as best a job I can do at being a mom.  Its not his fault I'm "screwed-up" so I had to try to minimize passing on my screwed-upness (huh? LOL!) to him. I've always tried to encourage my son to communicate his thoughts and feelings in a way that is respectful to himself and to others.  I'd learned that holding in negative feelings hurts, sometimes physically, and may develop into self-loathing and self-destructive actions.  I've, also, always told my son that he has to try to be the best HIM he can be.  I let him know that he cannot control anyone but himself and if he comes across hurt,etc. from hurt people that he should try to take the lesson from the interaction to help himself become a better person.  Don't let anybody change you.  You change you!


I try to be the best ME that I can be everyday.  But it is difficult, at times. We all are human and fallible.  I encourage others to put this in the forefront of their minds, no matter the level of difficulty.  Part of being the best person you can be is self evaluation, asking yourself tough questions: Am I overly concerned with what others think of me? Why is that? Why am I unhappy? Why is my behavior/outlook on life so negative? Am I holding on to past hurts? Is my past holding me back from a beautiful future?


Many of us have stories of hurt, disappointment, frustration, embarrassment, and so on that we suppress as we go on with our daily lives.  Not addressing these issues can be detrimental to us having a happy, fulfilling life.


But HOW do you address those issues? How do you let go?


There is an art to letting go.  And with any art form you have to practice.  I started my journey in college, asking myself those tough questions and, without answers readily available, decided to fake it until i made it.  I wanted to be happy, wanted to smile more so I did- just because.  While I faked it, I also continued searching for answers.  I even started my own therapy. And my own process of letting go. I credit the beginning of my letting go process to the ten paged (both sides!) letter that I wrote to my father.  At 19 years old, I sat at my desk in my college dorm room and poured my heart and my hurt onto the notepaper.  Through tears and sometimes loud sobs I burst through that wall of pain that was blocking my path.  I put the letter in an envelope, sealed and addressed it, then placed it in the desk drawer.  I never mailed it.  I never mailed it because it actually wasn't for him but for me.  I realized that I had to be "better" for me and for my son and that could not depend on whether or not someone else responded the way I thought they should.  I had to realize that I may never get this person to do what I wanted them to do because I can only control my own actions.


My journey continues, everyday.  I give myself daily reminders:


Keep everything in perspective.  


Today, I will try to be the best me I can be. 


Happiness is a choice.  


Do not allow someone else to control you.  


Love you more. 


Smile.


Reminders such as these work... sometimes. We all know what we need to be "better" its just the doing part that is the problem.  Many of us may need a professional to help us through the growing pangs of life but may be apprehensive about seeking such help.  Having to seek professional help was taboo for many of us growing up.  But lately I've noticed many people who would traditional shy away from such assistance begin to embrace it.


Letting go is an art form.  Like with any art form you must learn the basics and practice to get better at it.  So, breath in deeply and release it slowly.  And begin the really tough work, you will be better for it.


I'm still a work in progress.  


Progression is always good so feel free to share some of your stories of progression in honing the art of letting go.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Easy (like Sunday Morning! #ROW80 update)

Good morning. (Well it was morning when I started! LOL!)

Well, I have two pieces of great news to share:
1. I have met my goal of working on at least one WIP twice per week- its actually a new one and there's a story behind it.... I was ear hustling (AKA eavesdropping) one day and wrote down a statement this guy made.  From there a character came alive and is now solidifying a spot for himself in my writing world.  I just let him do his thing and before I know it I have thousands of words (ok, maybe only ONE thousand)  on my screen!
2. *drumroll* A fellow writer read my last blog post (dated 02.17.11) and asked if I would like to be a guest blogger on her website. Ummm, yeah! (Hell, yeah!) I am excited and I am flattered for the invitation and recognition.  Check it out at thatwritingchic.info 


That's it. Short and sweet.  I hope everyone has an awesome Sunday!

Happy Writing!


Thursday, February 17, 2011

Breaking up (with a friend) is hard to do

I am a friendly person (most times, lol!). I have many people in my life that I would consider friends and who, in return, consider me a friend.  The length of time I've known these people range from 26 years to 6 months.  Don't get me wrong, I've had some early lessons about friendship so I do not easily call someone a friend. When you are my friend, you are my friend for life... unless something extra-ordinary happens (I'm no fool! I hope).

I love all of my friends. I truly do.  But what happens when the relationship becomes unhealthy for you?  When you are stressed over your friends' worries yet they continue actions that are detrimental to themselves and, by proxy, you?

It is commonly advised, in domestic violence programs, that any person in an unhealthy relationship should make a plan to remove themselves and put it to action immediately.  But what if your unhealthy relationship is non-violent? What if your unhealthy relationship is not with an intimate lover but with a friend?

How do you break up with your friend?

We all go through issues and growing pangs in life where we need to lean on others for support.  A friend, in my opinion, should support you, care about your well-being, respect you, have similar interests, and be non-judgmental.  And vise versa. (Am I being too optimistic about this friend thing?)  Simple things like apologizing when they are wrong or have hurt your feelings, not intentionally trying to hurt you (physically or emotionally), or attending the celebrations for your accomplishments in life should be second-nature.

When you've given all you can give with minimal in return, its clear in all areas of life that its time for you to make the best decision for yourself and end it.  Be prepared: It'll feel like breaking up with your first boyfriend/girlfriend!

In order to prepare, you will need the following:
1. A new phone number (a new address would work wonders but the new number would suffice)
2. A job where outside communication is minimal to nonexistent (CIA, FBI, etc.)
3. A rotation in the world of friends so more time is spent with other friends that weren't recently been getting the appropriate attention because they did not get along with friend-in-question
4. A well written Dear John type of letter for the friend when s/he catches you leaving your mom's house and questions you about the recent distance.
5. And a bottle of Tequila (shots will be required!)

LOL!

I truly do NOT know how to break up with a friend.  That's why I'm still on call for when the shit hits her fan and throws MY life through a loop!

That's what friends are for, right?

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

When It Rains... (#ROW80 update)

Life gets in the way sometimes.  When I say the statement "when it rains, it pours..." I always get a visual picture in my mind of the Morton salt girl.  The salt is life pouring down fast and unrelenting into my open wounds.  Things sort of get off track when you are trying to nurse your salt filled wounds.

I am a part of two (relatively) new online communities, #ROW80 and #300stepstogreatness, where I receive support and encouragement to continue to take steps toward completing my goals.  I have written and revised my writing goals (#ROW80) but I no longer feel bad when and if I fall a bit short.  This is because of the support I receive in these communities.

I've made a few decisions... I've decided to restart The Artist's Way from Week One because my artist is hurt from neglect and I just cannot have that.  I've decided to revise my writing goals and add working on The Artist's Way to the list.

I am proud of myself.  I have gotten my WIPs organized, made a visual display to assist. I have been writing twice per week.  I have been working on The Artist's Way. And I have been researching article writing.

So, I have to continue writing at least twice per week on at least one WIPs, continue the Artist's Way, and come up with a article topic and get started on that.

Well, until next time folks...

"Don't let the day-to-day get in your way today."- @thatwritingchic