Thursday, January 20, 2011

I have a confession to make.... (#ROW80 check in)

Hi. My name is Jeneen and I have commitment issues. *Hi Jeneen!!!!!* I know, you may be saying to yourself, "But, Jeneen, you are married! How could this be?"  Well, I think I've figured it out.  Here's the thing with me: I believe I only have a certain capacity for things such as commitments, child-rearing, and things of that sort.  For example, I only have one child and I believe this is the case because I've given him all that I can give a child and I've reached my limit.  Who am I to ask for more than my share?  I was only given enough to rear one child and I'm not greedy.  I believe I am, now, at my capacity for commitments- I am married (huge!) and I have a full time job.  My commitment cup runeth over.  I would like to take on more but the red light is flashing "CAPACITY REACHED" and the siren is unbearable.  I am unable to stick to a schedule because of this so my #ROW80 goals have gone unmet.  At first, I felt bad but then I came to the realization that I'm tapped out of the commitment thing.  Now all I can do is write when the urge hits me, when the stars are aligned, when my mojo and I have made up.  Willy-nilly is the name of the game now.

No? Not working? Not so much? Okay, okay.  Honestly folks I'm stuck.  I had a traumatic episode occur recently and I am still shaken and in mourning.  I believe that some things were thrown into the trash by accident and among those things were small notebooks that I wrote part of a few WIPs in.  There would not be a problem if I had TRANSCRIBED THEM BEFORE THEY WERE ACCIDENTALLY THROWN OUT!  I am hurting on the inside and I can't shake it.  So where do I go from here?  Do I start over? Do I go to something new?  Do I try to remember what I wrote and how I wrote it so I can re-write it? UGGGHHH!  I need help getting past this.  What do I do? Oh, what do I do? *pacing back and forth, tugging at hair*

Well, I'm ready to move on.  While I have been stuck in woe-is-me-land in regards to my writing, I have been getting better in other parts of my life.  I have recently joined another group #300stepstogreatness where the community gives support for greatness in one another's lives.  I'm being held accountable, daily, for my TO DO list for my life! The encouragement I receive from both #300stepstogreatness and #ROW80 have helped me get to the point where I am not beating myself up anymore if I do not accomplish my goals for the day, week, etc.  I'll just rework them.  Try different things out until something sticks and becomes my habit.

So here are my #ROW80 goals (reworked):
1. I will organize my WIPs so I can begin again
2. I will write, at minimum, twice per week on at least one of my WIPs
3. I will research freelance article writing by the end of Round One (yes, I have now included research in my goals)
4. I will begin an article in Round One to be submitted in Round Two
5. I will set up my blog geared toward article writing by the end of Round One.

Am I biting off more than I can chew? We'll see....

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