Monday, March 15, 2010
I had an epiphany: I'm in the way!
Many days, I often feel an emptiness in my soul. I am not where I want to be. Since I can remember I've wanted to put my thoughts and observations into the universe, to share them with the world. My earliest memory of having a creative bug was around age six. I used to make up songs. Of course they were limited to the mind of a six year old but they belonged to me. I started drawing when I was around the same age. I would ask my mom to bring me "drawing paper" home from her work. It was actually printer paper but to me it was for drawing. I would look at an object and copy it, perfectly in my mind, onto the paper. As I grew, life got in the way. When I was eight, my parents seperated and my songs changed, my writing changed but it did not stop. The desire to put my thoughts and observations into the universe stregthened within me. But there was something different. I put my words on paper but I had developed a fear of sharing those words. That fear has morphed into the current stagnation I find myself in. I am in my own way. Right now I have about five to six pending projects and the thought of sharing my work causes hives to appear on my cheeks. Yet, I still have the burning desire to have my work published. Dilemmas. I have also wanted for a very long time to show people the world through my eyes via still pictures: Photography. But, I have yet to invest in a quality camera or classes for that matter. Life happens. It sometimes gets in the way. The true statement is that we get in our own way in life. So, how do I get out of my own way? Dilemmas.